by Douglas Purnell

I. Introduction

A premise for this paper emerged as I was reading Ed Farley’s book Theologia1. When I had finished reading the book I had the feeling that Farley had placed an onerous responsibility on those in the field of Pastoral Theology to be the unifying link in theological education. This responsibility emerged because Pastoral Theology, as a discipline, saw its task as equipping people to attend to human experience and to the text of tradition of The Word in a way that would make each address the other with relevant questions. This responsibility demands an ability to attend to and to know human experience in authentic ways and at the same time to know and relate the Christian tradition with freshness and relevance.

II. UTC’s philosophy for teaching Pastoral Theology

At United Theological College our overall philosophy for teaching Pastoral Theology comes in the frame of Reflective Pastoral Practice, where we seek to equip people involved in pastoral ministry to have a disciplined reflective practice. To this end in first year Pastoral Theology we address three areas of formation: (1) the identity of the pastor.2 (2) The ability of the pastor to attend, listen and (3) the ability of the pastor to engage in theological reflection.3

III. The classes

The process that I am about to describe took place in a first year Pastoral Theology class. The process took three three-hour classes. In that time we addressed the issue of shame in some depth.

Two of us work together in this class and teach as a team. Christine Gapes is my colleague.

(1) The first class. “Shame”: The Reading - The first of these three classes that I will describe occurred in week ten of a fourteen week course. In weeks 1-9 the class had progressively addressed the question “What is pastoral theology?” and explored their own identity by telling the story of their lives.

The content of this week’s program was shaped by the reading set for the class; “Transforming Social Shame,” a chapter from the book Shadows of the Heart4. To help us move towards a discussion of shame, Christine told one of her beloved toilet stories. It was a bit of fun and brought some energy to the classroom.

We gave students time to look at the reading and then to brainstorm what they thought the readings were saying. The reading included an exercise for reflecting on one’s experience of shame, and we asked the students to complete the exercise:

All of us have experienced social shaming; many of us have used shaming as a strategy ourselves. Begin this reflection by recalling a recent occasion when some technique of social shaming was used against you. The setting may have been your work site, your extended family, the civic community or the church.

First, identify the shaming strategies involved: were you belittled or excluded or silenced or mocked or... ? Give examples to show concretely what was involved.

Then, consider how these shaming techniques affected you. Can you recall the threat you felt? How did you respond; what were your thoughts, emotions, actions? What resources helped you deal with or resist this effort to shame you?

Finally, in what ways has your religious experience been a help in your efforts to heal the effects of social shaming? In what ways has it been a hindrance?5

After a time working alone the class was invited to work in small groups with particular emphasis given to listening for both the content and the feeling in relation to the stories they’d heard. Some emphasis was given to “not interpreting, but simply recalling what they had heard and seen.”

To reinforce listening skills and to introduce the possibility of sculpture we invited members of the class to take a posture that represented how they felt in relation to the issue of shame. We asked the one listening to take the same posture and describe what it felt like within the body and to check whether that was accurate with the one who had been speaking.

To conclude this class (after 3 hours) we invited people to imagine their shame, to hold it in their hands and then to pass it on to the next and to the next so that we could share in holding each other’s shame. To conclude I offered a pastoral prayer.

This might have been the conclusion of our conversation about shame. We began the next class with an openness to the particular focus which class members might bring

(2) The Second Class. “Shame”: The Sculpture - The task for this class was to engage in theological reflection arising out of our previous experience together We were aware that the previous class on shame may have raised issues for people that needed further resolution.

We chose a simple theological reflection model that would allow people to raise issues from last week if they chose. This simple reflection would take the first hour of class. At this time I indicated to the class that we would do a more intense reflection in the second and third hours by making a sculpture. I offered to work with a volunteer from the class to use the time and the energy of the group to work more particularly on a theological reflection relating to an incident or experience in their life.

In the first hour class members were given crayons and paper and asked to list on one end of a piece of paper words that related to an experience of their choice that they had addressed over the semester. On the other edge of the paper they were to write words from the stories of faith that addressed them in these questions. A third part of this exercise invited people to draw lines, make images with crayons that connected the words on one end of the paper with the words or stories at the other. They talked in small groups and then in the whole class about this.

(i) Making the sculpture - When we came back from the break I asked if someone was interested in taking the time to make a sculpture. As the students had not seen a sculpture and did not know what a sculpture was, I suggested that they had only to want to use the time within the class and I would worry about the process of making the sculpture6. There was a silence in the class and then Ann Shepherd7, the oldest and perhaps the quietest class member volunteered.

I asked Ann “What do you want from the exercise?” Clarifying what the learner wants in this (and any learning situation) is very important. As a facilitator I am working for the goals of the student and need to clarify those rather than to impose my goals on her. Ann said, “I’ve shared about my shame with one person. That was helpful. I wonder if I can take it further by sharing with the whole group”. I asked Ann to show us the paper on which she had done her earlier theological reflection. All of the information that we needed to proceed was on this piece of paper.

On the left hand side of the paper in a circle was the word shame and beginning at the top little satellites growing off that circle with the words — “don’t be visible,” “hide,” “give up on life,” “don’t be heard,” “something is wrong with me,” “what’s the point,” “don’t be seen,” “I don’t be long in the world.” On the right three Biblical stories were referred to —“the lady with the hemorrhage,” “the woman at the well,” and “Peter when he denied Christ.” The two sides of the paper were held together by yellow lines that contained arrows linking with both the shame and the faith stories, in the center was a cross.

Using the sculpture we could engage a significant theological reflection by giving voice to the conversation begun on the page. A dialogue, as it were, between Ann’s experience of shame, and those Biblical stories which in this situation named God and addressed her experience of shame.

As the facilitator of the sculpture’I asked Ann to invite different people to take on the role of each of the elements of her shame and to represent each of the stories from the Gospel. To aid the role player to get into the role I invited Ann to give three describing words for each person representing an element of her shame or the Bible stories. I asked Ann to place each of these characters in the room in some relation to each other. The instruction was to use space and posture and distance to create a picture of all these elements together . . . not think it out beforehand, not to try too hard . . . allow it to happen: move them and you’ll soon find the appropriate positions.” And she did.

Ann is a naturally quiet person. As she made this part of the sculpture she spoke in a whisper. And the people responded in whispers. That was appropriate for Ann and perhaps for the respondents because Ann was publicly addressing her shame

Each of the people representing Ann’s shame were given positions on the floor, barricaded in, unseeing. I now don’t remember who was which part, but the people were placed with some energy and passion around the room. Aeryun was asked to squat on her knees on the floor with her head resting on her arms on the ground. She was hidden behind a table and Ann moved another table and chairs to hide her in. Then she asked Sitaveni to get down on the floor under three tables which had been pushed together against the wall -- he was to lie on the floor in a foetal position under the third table. Young Im was placed standing in the corner, her body twisted, with her hand over her mouth. Silent. Kylie was asked to lie on the floor again in a foetal sort of position with her hands over her mouth and her eyes. Two chairs were placed around her so she couldn’t be seen and pieces of paper placed over the top of the chairs. (A little later in this paper I quote from Kylie’s journal about her experience in this role). Malcolm was made to lie on the floor behind the table with his head on his hand and his elbow on the floor. He was twisted and stretched out. Susan who walks with the aid of crutches, was placed in a seated position with three chairs around her blocking her in so she couldn’t be seen.

In the center of the room and facing away from all of these people were the three stories which represented God. Three parts of God - two stood and one sat, they reached out their arms to each other and made contact with an open-ended part looking away to the light of the windows, away from the parts of shame who were hidden in the darker parts of the room.

Ann was very slow and deliberate in her work. As the people in the sculpture were positioned, a deep quiet came over the room. The people present became aware of the emotional reality being shared with them. They were respectfully attending. My task as facilitator and teacher was to model how to be with someone in the pain of their shame.

(ii) Naming the Sculpture - In the next phase I asked Ann to name the sculpture (“Tell us where and how you’ve placed the people and what this means for you.. .”). Naming the sculpture was difficult and at some points distressing. After she had named each of the parts of her shame Ann moved to the center of the room and stood in the open part of the people who represented her stories of God. Ann stood near to the figure of God, touching the hands of God. Responding to the levels of emotion Ann had shown when she placed and then named the sculpture, I suggested that she stay close to her image of God. I thought that Ann would be safer in hearing the voice of the elements of her shame if she stood close to her image of God.

(iii) Giving the sculpture a voice - I went to each person in the sculpture and asked them how it felt for them to be in this position in this sculpture.

(iv) The modeling role of the facilitator - When facilitating a sculpture like this there are always moments when as the facilitator I don’t know where to go and have to make choices. On this occasion it was to hold in my head what Ann wanted from the sculpture and to see how the images spoke to me as a facilitator and as a pastor. My engagement in the process is to model competence in ministry by attending closely to all that is happening, holding that in tension with the stated learning goal of Ann, and through an imaginative act bring about a helpful resolution.

(v) Resolving the sculpture: Conversing with God - The image of God in the center of the room looked to me initially like a crucified form. Each of the people had their arms outstretched in ways that reminded me of the cross and of the pain and the agony that happens when one stretches one’s arms out and holds them there for a particular time. I decided to ask Ann to bring each of the shameful parts of herself to God and to introduce them to God. I was asking her to bring her shame to the cross. Slowly she brought each part of her shame to this “crucified God”. She let each part be there and the God-forsakenness of the open arms became energized and supported by resting on the parts of Ann’s shame. God began to have a role and to come alive in responding to Ann’s shame.

It intrigued me that in this sculpture God was Trinity. God was in Christ, or in the stories of Christ. Many times before I have asked people to include an image or images of God in a scripture. Never before have I seen anybody use three Biblical stories as a way to image God in a sculpture. This was an “accident,” not planned and at the same time most appropriate.

(vi) Concluding the sculpture: Thanking the players. Processing the experience - At the conclusion of the sculpture I asked Ann to thank each of the people who had played a part in her sculpture by giving them a hug or in some way appropriate to her. This was slow and emotional. Then the whole group divided into smaller groups to say “what had happened to them while they had been in a role in the sculpture or observed from the sideline.”

It was a very moving experience and many people in the class were in tears. In this class we were equipping people to acknowledge and be aware of their own pain and shame and at the same time to be able to stand with others in their shame and pain.

We closed the class with a prayer. The prayer was addressed to God who comes to us in the story of the woman who hemorrhaged and reached out to touch Jesus, the God who comes to us in a story of the woman at the well and to a paradoxical image of God - God who comes in Peter’s denial of Christ. The prayer was to model pastoral prayer and to recognize the depth and power of the experience we had shared together.

(3) The Class Members’ Experience.

(i) Kylie’s journal - What happens to people when they participate in a sculpture like this? Kylie has agreed to let me quote from her journal:

I was invited by Ann to participate in her sculpture by representing that part of her that was hiding, described by the words small, invisible and scared. The physical position which I was to adopt in this sculpture was completely curled up,

and I was boxed in by the solid parts of chairs, the top covered over by paper, so that I really was invisible to the other people in the room.

It also meant that I couldn’t see what was going on, or hear very much. Almost immediately I noticed that I had difficulty breathing, feeling that I couldn’t take in enough air with my diaphragm and rib cage so constricted. After some time (unable to determine how long) my joints started to ache, in particular my left ankle and foot; my whole left leg was then numb AND painful at the same time (I didn’t know this could happen). I felt irritated and tried to change my position, but space was just too limited. I felt slightly panicked, and a number of times considered releasing myself from my cramped position. I reasoned that it would be more helpful for Ann if I stayed put, so I did, despite the pain and my growing irritation which was turning to anger.

Doug was asking each of the people in the sculpture to say what it felt like to be part of Ann’s sculpture; I expressed what I was feeling, and heard back from Ann that for herself anger was not a part of the position, only a feeling of safety in hiding. I felt a bit concerned that I had interpreted things incorrectly.

After a little more time my anger seemed to be combined with a wave of sadness, mostly for my poor body in that position, but also for Ann, that part of herself was trapped in such a painful position. Unable to move around this sadness was expressed in tears - quite violent sobs actually, about which I was initially embarrassed.

Just briefly, Ann then brought each of us (as parts of her) out of these positions and introduced us to the parts of God she had identified and made a new sculpture. I was delighted that I was able to stand up but still embarrassed that I was upset.

Some of the questions that I now ask (two weeks later) are about the anger that was part of my experience. Do I recognize those physical and emotional feelings from other events or places in my life? How is the anger connected with the sadness?...

..... The position that I was in reminded me of a piece of sculpture I made two years ago.

I haven’t drawn it very well, but it is a red, wire figure of Jesus curled up, holding the cross, with a yellow greensnake wrapped around Jesus and the cross.

The position of the figure is much like my position. When I made the figure I thought of Jesus as succumbing to death willingly. . . but now I want to ask - was Jesus angry? The Physical pain of the crucifixion must have made one howl with anger. In his life Jesus had apparently been angry at various authorities, turning over the money changers tables “You hypocrites!” ... to those who abused their power and didn’t care for the outcasts So in his death at the hands of the authorities may there have also been anger. I am also reminded of the prophets anger...
Psalms of God’s anger against the unjust...
And I reflect that anger is legitimate and in many instances a very appropriate response.

This encourages me to give anger its proper place in my experiences...

(ii) Ann’s visit to me one week later - During the week after the class in which we made the sculpture Ann came to see me.8 She said that she felt “out of her body” after last week. It was as though she was looking at her body doing things. I shaped a question for Ann: “If you live with shame for a good part of your life then you shape your life around the shame -it becomes part of you. If you choose to let the shame go, you find a hole where the shame was and life is uncomfortable for a time. . . What might it mean in this circumstance to be born anew?”

In this class, each student is asked as part of the assessment to make a tapestry of their life. I suggested to Ann that as part of her tapestry and in response to her saying to me; “I have the darkness and I have the light and they seem to be fighting each other” that she address the darkness and allow it to speak to her. It will give her a life image.

(iii) The Third Class. “Shame”: Engaging Further Theological Reflection - In the third week we wanted to reinforce the theological reflection. In these classes it is always important to connect with what has happened the previous week by inviting people to comment and by sharing their responses, their questions, their insights. Our choice this day was to revisit the sculpture by asking the class as a group to make a thick description of the sculpture. A thick description is a way of building listening skills using a phenomenological approach.

Collecting a thick description took almost two hours of our class. As members of the class volunteered and recalled moments, we wrote them on the board. We kept editing what we wrote until there was consensus in the class that this was what had happened, that these were the words that were spoken and this was the order in which they occurred.

I was amazed at the accuracy of the recall by the class. When someone added an interpretation to their recall they were corrected by the group.

When we had made a thick description of the experience of the sculpture we invited people to form small groups and to talk about what had happened to them while the sculpture was taking place and what has happened to them since then. To address their feeling response.

Then we asked the question “What questions have emerged for you out of this experience? What questions do you bring to the Christian tradition as a result of this experience? What is the conversation between experience and Christian tradition that has emerged for you?”

Peter, one of the young men in the class, said rather tentatively, “A question that emerges for me is why do women experience more shame than men?” He seemed scared to voice the question. Hearing his tentativeness, I affirmed the question and we spent a little time looking at why it might be such an important question.

Such a question might lead us to ask deeper questions about the place of women in society, how women have been shamed. Such questions lead to “Who else experiences shame in our society?” “Why?” “What can we do?” It shapes for us questions about the culture and the structure of women’s (and others’) experience within the culture. It will raise questions about sexism and abuse. This will lead to approaching the Christian tradition with concern for those who have been shamed.

It is our hope that the focusing of these questions will shape the long term learning goals of the class member and that Peter might direct his subsequent reading in this and other classes to address the questions shaped here.

IV. Pastoral Theology: The Reconciling Discipline.

Pastoral Theology is a dialectic, a hermeneutical and caring conversation involving the pastor and the experience of the pastor in a unique way with both contemporary human experience and with the tradition of The Word. As such, Pastoral Theology involves both the ethical imperative to care and the concern to discover the meaning within an event and to name the experience of God within the event. In this series of classes we have been working to equip people as pastoral theologians by (1) helping them to acknowledge and name their own experience. (2) be with another in the depth of their experience. (3) Show a discipline in attending to and reflecting on the experience and (4) supporting them in listening to how the tradition of The Word addresses and is addressed by their experience

Pastoral Theology doesn’t stand alone, it is an area of study intimately linked with the other fields (Biblical Studies, Church History and Theology) and within the broadly defined practical theology field of liturgy, preaching, field education and pastoral counseling. It is formed by and informs those areas of study. The work that we have done in this class draws closely on what our students are learning in other classes (Biblical Studies, and Systematic Theology). In this sculpture students have been asked to draw upon their Biblical knowledge and Kylie in her reflection brings questions from her experience in the sculpture to address her understanding of how Jesus might have experienced and acted in anger. It seemed that a fresh dialogue had emerged for her that will affect how she reads the stories of Jesus and how she reads those stories will inform her practice in new ways.

V. Conclusions

Through reporting our experiences in these classes I hope to have demonstrated that

In conclusion, let me reiterate that this is a first year course. In it we hope we are shaping questions that will be crucial in the formation of people for a ministry of leadership for the church. Our concern is not to develop or defend our discipline over against others, but rather to develop a sense of “both and”. In this way Pastoral Theology is a reconciling force within theological education.

1. Edward Farley, Theologia, Fortress Press, Philadelphia, 1983.
2. Alex Nelson contributed much to the shaping of the philosophy of teaching Pastoral Theology at UTC. His understanding is spelled out in his Ph.D. thesis: The Role Of Imagination In Adult Transformation and Autobiographical Learning, University of Technology, Sydney, 1996. Models for addressing the identity of the pastor are also outlined in my book Exploring your Family Story, Joint Board of Christian education, 1984.
3. There is a growing body of material on theological reflection which informs our work. Some of the works that we draw on are: Laurie Green, Let’s Do Theology, Mowbray, London 1990, Patricia O’Connell Killen and John de Beer, The Art of Theological Reflection, Crossroad, New York 1994, John Patton, From Ministry to Theology, Abingdon, Nashville, 1990, Don Browning, A Fundamental Practical Theology, Fortress, Minneapolis, 1991 and my D. Mm Dissertation Doing Theology Through Expressive Art: A Series of Paintings Informed by the Theology of Paul Tillich, San Francisco Theological Seminary 1993.
4. J. Whitehead and E. Whitehead, Crossroad, 1994, p.146-60.
5. Ibid., p.159.
6. Purnell, 1983, op. cit. pp.36-41.
7. Ann Shepherd is the name of the student. I asked her for permission to use her name and the experience within the class within this paper and she said “I would be honoured”. Other students named and whose work is quoted in the paper have given their approval for their names and work to be used. As one said, “It will make it more authentic.”
8. This was not a surprise to me and I have written about this in a paper titled ‘Walking the Highwire: Event, Void and Religious Images’, published in Psychiatry and Religion Melbourne, October 1987. In this article I wrote about people having worked through experiences that seemed to be important for them then recognizing some sense of nothingness or void and when they resolve the void actually discovering religious images that emerged from that, images that were life shaping in their form.