Jacky Zhang is a traditional Chinese man in many ways. He seldom express his feeling and buying his wife a Valentine's Day present never crosses his mind.

But Mr. Zhang has defies his parents, who stress the traditional Chinese family value of maintaining the lineage, by refusing to divorce his HIV-positive wife. His wife was diagnosed in 2003 and his two daughters, aged two and four, contracted the virus from her.

Mr. Zhang who dose not have the disease, said it took a long time for him to come to terms with the fact that having two HIV-positive daughters meant he would be unable to fulfill his family duty to maintain the lineage.

"My wife repeatedly asked me o divorce her so that I cam marry someone else and have a healthy child," he said. "She feels bad and my parents cannot accept [not having great-grandchildren]."

Mr. Zhang said he had defies the pressure from his parents and his wife because he could not leave his daughters. "I am already enjoying the happiness of having a family. Why should I seek it elsewhere, even though there are defects in the family now"

"If I leave them, the girls would be so miserable. As long as they can enjoy life in the world for some time, it is O.K for me"

Like many traditional Chinese men, Mr. Zhang will not utter the word "love". But he said he shared a strong bond with his wife and would not leave her. He said it was possible that she was infected during another relationship before their marriage five years ago.

"My wife is a simple woman. She is a housewife. That is why nobody believed it when the doctors said she was infected with HIV," he said.

Mr. Zhang said he had only managed to keep his family intact because of the free paediatric anti-retroviral drugs provided by a Medicines Sans Frontieres (MSF) clinic in Naning city, Guangxi. Paediatric Aids drugs are usually not available on the mainland.

Mr. Zhang said he was worried that the MSF project might not be able to continue after its two-year contract expired next year. Without free medicine for his children and wife, all his efforts to keep them by his side would be in vain.

He bought a Valentine's Day present of his wife for the first time this week after being reminded of the occasion by a friend.

(Mr. Zhang asked that his real name and where he comes from remain confidential to protect his wife and children from prejudice.)

Source: South China Morning Post
February 15, 2005